


Day Five: Letters

by rizahawkaye



Series: Royai Week 2017 [5]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, F/M, Guilt, Hurt, Love, Sadness, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 05:31:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11155248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rizahawkaye/pseuds/rizahawkaye
Summary: Roy tries to suffocate the disgust as it settles in his gut every night while he falls asleep atop a pile of charred bodies.





	Day Five: Letters

**Author's Note:**

> Rated T bc I mention decaying bodies and stuff.

Hughes tells Roy about his letters every time he receives one, and Roy swallows his apathy like it’s a pill that’ll keep his heart beating. He never pretends to be particularly invested in the contents of the letters but he sits in the hot sands and listens to them anyway. It takes Hughes twenty minutes on average to ramble on about Gracia, and Roy’s content to utilize the time to consider his surroundings, which are constantly changing as he and his men press deeper into Ishval.

“You never get any letters, Roy.”

“I never write any letters, Maes.”

“Yeah, why is that?"

"I don’t have the right."

Roy tries to suffocate the disgust as it settles in his gut every night while he falls asleep atop a pile of charred bodies. He can’t imagine being so taken over feathery letters when the stench of death hangs heavy in the air, yet he craves the distraction. He detests the way her face swims around in his mind when the hunger hits, and he’s bruised himself pressing his palms into his eyes before. His hands have bled from how much he beats them into the dirt.

"Didn’t you say you have a friend back in the countryside, Roy?"

"Her father was my alchemy master, Maes."

"So why don’t they write to you?"

"I don’t know."

Roy hopes for a letter from her. He wants her to rip him apart, he wants to feel her anger seeping from the corners of a page that’s been littered with words from her gentle hand. As his fingers snap and the air ignites he’s reminded that this power he has was a gift. He’s nothing special, he’s nothing and no one but a traitor to her and to his own ideals. Sometimes at night he swears he can feel her soft skin on his fingertips. He hears her breathe in his dreams.

"I wish you had just wrote to me,” he tells her when she appears to him like a battered angel on the battlefield. His hands catch his face as he dry heaves into the blood-tinged sand below his feet.

“What was a letter going to do, Major?” She asks him. “I had to come here and take responsibility for the role I’ve played in the Hero of Ishval’s body count." Roy would rather her shoot him than look at him with her empty eyes.

She sits across from him almost every night now, and his abhorrence for himself is festering with each flick of her finger against the trigger. He wants to crawl into the ground and rot with the bodies of the innocent Ishvalans he’s slain in her name. He wants to writhe in his own flames. He wants to write letters to ghosts.

"That’s the daughter of your master, Roy?"

"Yeah, Maes, that’s her."

"Guess we know why she’s not been writing you."

"Guess so.”

**Author's Note:**

> Listen,,,I will forever write a guilty Roy.


End file.
